Thursday, January 31, 2013

Bullying

I experienced something yesterday that I thought I wouldn't have to worry about for a long time still.

Yesterday we were at a church women's activity and everyone had brought their kids and we were just working on crafts, visiting, etc. It was going great. It was getting about time to go when I look over at Addison and she's near two of her friends. (While they're about a year older than her, they play together a lot.) And I could see that Addison kept asking them if she could play. And one in particular was being pretty mean about not letting her play, the other one was telling her she couldn't play but was at least being somewhat nice about it. It made me so sad to see Addison's face, so I walked up told her that she did want to play with them anyways and we went home.

I was distraught the whole rest of the day about it. And when I told Doug about it later the only consolation I had was that at least she didn't realize that they were being mean to her. The rest of the evening went fine. We did baths and read books and when she got in bed after prayers she told her dad what she did today. And she told him that her friends had been mean and hurt her feelings. It took everything I had not to cry and  even as I write this is makes me cry thinking that my poor baby isn't even 3 yet and already understands that her friends were being mean to her.

I know that this is sort of inevitable, she's younger, smaller, and the new one to the group, but I hope that I can teach her to be strong and not afraid. I hope I can learn to be stronger for her. I want her to know that no matter what other people might say to her that I love her. I can't imagine what it must feel like for a parent who has a child who is truly being bullied. If that's your child OR if your child is the one doing the bullying please check out the resources at:

stopbullying.gov

pacer.org/bullying

kidsagainstbullying.org

teensagainstbullying.org

Have you had to deal with your little one being hurt? More importantly how did you handle it?

1 comment:

  1. Tough one! This has happened to all my children -- even you :) I think at this age, it's okay to intervene and ask the other children nicely if your child can play with them, or try to find out what's going on so you can deal with the situation, rather than the emotions. It's really hard not to get your own feelings hurt, too! Addison is such a sweetie, it's hard to imagine anyone not wanting to play with her:) When talking with her, instead of focusing on the "mean" kids, I think it's good to talk to her about how good she is at sharing, what a good imagination she has, and what a good friend she is, so she can learn to develop empathy for others; she will want to be the nice girl who will always be a friend and welcome others to play. P.S. Sorry, it was such a hard day !

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